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Wednesday, March 28, 2012
To Ra Do Ra
A good anime to check out that I've just started watching is called Toradora. Its a neat little light hearted comedy, romance, drama anime about a guy in high school who has a legacy of being a rough and tumble bully from his father who apparently looked just like him and because of his rough looks, but he hates that fact because he is not at all what people think he is. He's actually a responsible young man who knows how to cook, clean, and is very generous and caring, which doesn't seem to affect everyone's opinion just based on his dads past who which he doesn't even know. He lives with his also very young and attractive mother who sleeps all day and works all night doing god knows what. Anyway he meets a girl who lives in a luxurious high rise apartment next door to his ramshackle house just below, and she has it in for him to be her slave to help her gain the attention of a mutual friend with whom she is deftly afraid to admit her true feelings for, while also he makes the same deal with her to help him get the attention and hopeful hookup with a mutual female friend that he's had his eyes set upon for some time. There is constant bickering back and forth with the two main characters which could almost lead one to speculate that they act almost as an old married couple or could possibly end up as just that and not just as odd friends with a common goal. But much is to be seen and how it all plays out keeps you on the edge of your seat. But beware, because this show will make you HUNGRY because there is always the cooking of some very appetizing food in every episode.. Enjoy!
blupapershorts
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Saturday, October 15, 2011
Divorce rant
Guess I never got around to posting this cuz it was sitting there as a draft, so since this is my blog and I don't hold anything back I suppose I'll publish it even tho I'm going to re-read it... so dont hold me accountable for what it says, or do, I dont care much.. LMAO!!!
Well as some of you may or may notbuy know. My wife and I are splitting up. It's probably been many years in the making (and as she would tell you it's mainly because of my lack of feelings for her and the consistant relationship sabotage on my part). I will agree that I have not been the best husband in the world, I have had constant mental issues that could never prepare me for how to behave properly. I was always pushed to strive for being better, to quit drinking excessively, and to start exercising and participating in more family oriented events. The truth is, I like to drink and watch movies and anime, I like to work on computers, play guitar, and more truthfully, like to be alone. I cannot be myself when I am around family, because when I am around them, all I ever feel is like I cannot win. My wife and kids are more important than anything and I also therfor think it's best for them to not be around me. One of my biggest pet peaves is clutter and since my wife is disabled she cannot do enough around the home, the kids run rampant around destroying everything that I work for while she sits on her computer blogging, researching conspiracy theories, breastfeeding, and chatting with people I dont even know on Facebook and other blogs. Now I'm not saying that the seperation is all due to the fact that we have a messy (disasterously messy) house, but that is a pretty big part of it. I know it may sound crazy but I really like to feel at home in my home..and if I work a pretty stupidly horrifying job the last thing I want to do is clean house. The next thing is I like to relax on vacations and have a good time but every time we go to do something everything becomes a whole lot of work for me because she cannot do much. I know that it seems really selfish to want my wife to be able to participate more in things physically when I know that she just can't, but it gets tiring knowing that every time she has an idea that I'll be the only participating in all the labor. And while rangling 3 kids at the same time. I mean I can barely mow the lawn without kids trying to run in front of my mower. There is just not enough we can do to keep the kids occupied while we get things done. Every day I come home from work the home is just completely trashed. My garage is full of stuff and you can hardly walk in there, my downstairs office and bar area get trashed from the kids and she just cannot keep up with them to tell them not to. It gets very frustrating, and she wonders why I dont have time to do things like make a garden. I can't even find clothes for the kids most of the time because laundry is soo piled up everywhere and in the laundry room. I know it seems like a lot of B.S. on my part to want to get a divorce over, but the reality is that most of the time her snotty know-it-all attitude just doesn't turn me on. She gets mad because she doesn't feel liked or even loved, but how can I love someone who denies me any kind of peace of mind that I'm ever doing the right thing. It gets hard to be realistic to someone who pushes you away even in times when you are nice to them, and then spends all her time on the computer. What is a guy to do that just wants to feel the kind of love that is in the fairy tales and is constantly bombarded with the cruel truths that are this reality. If I could ever feel true love how would I even know what it is? How can I ever know what it's like to be with somebody that you are always wondering what kind of scheming plans may come in the near future? Nothing is real. Nothing has ever felt real. A person who is soo into what they are into and then talks ab
Guess this never got published before but I suppose I had meant to a long time ago.. I'm not even gonna re-read it....
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Friday, September 23, 2011
Time is relative..and most certainly irrelevant
As I sit here on a day off work (the first in about 12 days) I ponder why it is that I have soo much to do, and so little time to do it in. I have also come to the realization that I, myself, just so happen to create chaos for my own life. Whether it be to create about a million and one projects that I should know deep down that I will never finish, or looking on facebook profiles of freinds that most likely dont give a rats ass about me when I should be doing homework, or perusing the endless amounts of anime toys on ebay that I can't afford to buy, or looking up beer recipes to homebrew batches that I may or may not ever get around to making. Thinking about the paperwork and money accounts of a father who is sitting in a nursing home and then just pushing them aside because of other things I should be doing at that moment. Wondering the whole time why I do the things I do and about want I want to do, just to come full circle and think about the load of shit that fills up my garage to a point of impossibility to ever even imagine trying to get a vehicle in there. The amount of toys all over the house in random places put there by none of my kids but some crazy dark leprechaun that the children speak of frequently as the mysterious being that causes all the mischief around the home when I'm not looking or when I ask "who made this mess!" The homework that I do need to do creates another realm of wonder that in turn makes me want to find a really tall building to go hangliding off of without the glider to thus hang from. Whatever it is that causes this mental chaotic connundrum I cannot say. All I can say is that if not for chaos what would I do? Without the worry that I may never be completely happy with anything in my life unless it is a huge mess, what would I do? If anybody has ever been the kind of person to make a big twisted mess of things than you may be able to relate at least on the top layer of the madness that is behind this big piece of bloggy poo. And on that note I better get back to my homework, because planetary nebulea need to be explained, and if not for the credits and grades from this final class in my Ass-ociates program I may not even care.. but since I've also a Philosophy quiz to finish by the end of the week I can't even think that any accomplishment is even justified. I never gain any satisfaction from any level of work I put into a project, and I bet that some physcologist would say that I've a very hard habbit of self destruction to break, and that I should learn to take a compliment. Well, that aint happenin....at least not until somebody can help me break the rails of this train and help me go in another direction that's a little less painful. Any volunteers? Didn't think so...... FML
Sunday, September 11, 2011
911
I'd gladly go back to that day and do everything over again if I thought that it would help change things forever. I would shoot those planes out of the sky if it would change the intentions for what they succeeded in doing. To lower the moral and hope for those attempting to lower ours as a free country I would bear arms and cut off anyones head to end things such as terrorism, racism, and fasciast communism. The war isn't with terror, it's with our own selves and the evil we can create within. There has to be way and I believe that fire is the only way out. You may not have to pass through the fires of hell in order to reach heaven, but nobody ever said things were supposed to be easy. I'd walk that line, just so that others will not have to. The innocent lives lost that day, unfortunately will not be the last, but we must remember. Because without something lost there will never be anything to gain.
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